Sunday, October 6, 2019

My Value System

My grandfather got very sick 18 years ago. He got stone in one of his kidneys. The doctor told us that he would not survive for many days on one kidney. I was very fond of him. I use to visit him often and when I heard about his severe sickness and hospitalization, I was afraid of losing him. I visited him in the hospital with my father at least three times a week, taking coconut biscuits as he likes them a lot. This goes on for months. He got habitual of me visiting him in hospital and when I didn't show up because of my exams he felt sad. This period of sickness and me 11-year-old taking interest in my grandfather's good health and care made him and my family happy and to ponder upon the values they have taught me.

I know a boy who is about 23 years of age and is still dependent on his parents for food, clothing, shelter, entertainment, etc. He does not work because he knows that his father is working and he will supply his every need and want and even his futile and void desires. He does not obey his mother when she asks him to work and earn for at least himself. He talks to his mother and father rudely even in front of strangers. The boy knows what is right and what he is doing to his parents and to himself, and therefore there are questions on his value system.

Not long back I conducted a survey on how to build and maintain an ideal marriage - People who were above 40 years said 'Love and respect' are the most important ingredient for an ideal marriage. People who were 20 - 30 years emphasized, 'Compromising, Commitment and Understanding' in a marriage for its smooth running. A prophet back in 750 B.C. asked something amazing - "Do two people walk together unless they are in one accord?" I request you, readers, to ponder upon this question as it makes us to deeply think about our 'value system'.

Values are the standards or principles of an ideal behavior in one's life. They are not just the judgment of the people of what they think is important to them - rather it is what is RIGHT in the eyes of law and humanity. Values like Integrity, Respect, Empathy, Courtesy, Love etc are so vital in today's world.

Whether you are a working professional, husband, wife, single or an elder of the family  - if you are in oneness with people around you, you cannot succeed in creating an ideal value system for yourself.
If I and my wife argue over petty issues every day, are we in oneness? NO,
Will, we are able to create an ideal value system for us? NO,
Will, we are able to design an ideal value system for kids? NO,
Think, what our children would learn from us if we ourselves are fighting and showing disrespect towards each other?
Husband and wife are joined in an eternal union to be ONE and to show the generation ahead how to live in togetherness.

'System' in value system is the mechanism that has become the part of us, which happens naturally.
For example, if an elder who is trying to cross the road and not able to, I will initiate my help or if I see someone entering into my office not knowing how to get certain thing done  I would help that person or if I see litter on the office floor I will pick up and throw in the dustbin, all of this and more  not because I am a good person or I have learned good moral values but because these values have now become a part of my nature, it just happens.

My dear friends, don't despise others when they are wrong, let us do right and build, maintain and strengthen our 'value system'.

                                    "MAKE VALUES PART OF YOUR NATURE"

-Ashish Parnani

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